Where it happened: his room
Langauge: English
Sex: Female
Rating: 7
Category: Straight
I’ve been reading all these wonderful stories since last year and every time I read it,I feel so jealous and wondering whether the first time is as good as u guys always mentioned.herless to say,mine wasn’t a bed of roses..
I am like other girls,I do enjoy my high school and get myself a boyfriend..as all the high school girls always wanted..To cut the story short,he was my first and dumped me for another girl. I guess that was the end of my life when everything just doesn’t seems to be like what they were used to be. My life was gloomy and I live over depression but never show it out as I was a popular girl back in school. I think first love always sucks..when u had put all your love in it and what u get back in return is nothing else than hurt and betray…
It was then when I start hanging in the net…as a way to forget my past..I start to know few guys thru the net and came to know a guy name Xel.I think I just need a friend and someone to care for..there is where I start to tell him all my problems and he too..,just broke of with his girlfriend. He offered me a sincere friendship..at least thats what I thought..and so soon we always go out together and he asked me to be his girlfriend. I have no ideas why he wanted me,but he said that he likes me..Well,I was lonely..I have to agree that I do need someone to be with me.So,in the end I accepted him but deep down in my heart I know that he is not the one that I am looking for to start a relationship. I sound stupid didn’t I? Hell did I know what happened, I guess the feeling of loneliness, boredom, upset, lost confident and all in one make me said yes to him. And most of all I really felt betrayed by my ex-boyfriend.
Xel was nice to me in the beginning..but sooner later he started to touch me and undress me up. I was still living in depression by that time, and I couldn’t care so much about myself. I just don’t want to lose my second relationship when I didn’t say anything about this. Anyway, one day he started to go further and living in a very well manner family, my family do forbid sex before marriage. I managed to say no for the first few times but ended up giving up to him when I realise that I don’t want to dissapointed him. I was being too nice to give away my virginty isn’t it? Just call me naive and stupid. I know nothing about sex..I don’t even know how a penis get in the hole..
He promised me that he will mantain me as a virgin..He said that he won’t go in deep. And I know I was nuts to have trust him. So, he went in and enjoyed himself while I didn’t feel anything. There isn’t any pain at all,but I do see BLOOD! And I really mean it BLOOD! For the first time I think I am not going to be a virgin anymore..so I gave up and he start fucking me for few months. Anyway,there is still blood coming out everytime he fucked me.I never know why until today..
A girlfriend of mine told me that sex without willingness from another party can be call as rape. I do wonder whether this is what it seems in my case. But I won’t make say any word for this. He did take advantage over an innocent and naive high school girl. And being a coward I did let him. So,I think no parties will be blame if I bring this matter up.
Well, girls should have know the end of my story better…He started to change after few months. He didn’t treat me as nice as he did few months before and I caught him once with other girl. I’ve always blame myself for being stupid and naive. I shouldn’t have trust him when he said that he won’t get in deep. But on the same time,I know I can’t really blame myself as I know nothing about sex. I never even watch a pornograpy film..Believe me! So how should I know what is sex and what it is suppose to be about? How should I know that once a penis penetrate in,thats the end of the story. I agree that he did lied to me. He said I will remain a virgin because what he gave was just a penetration which is not deep to break my virginity.
Anyway, I manage to break off with him finally! Ha..It was oneday when I wake up myself and said that this things shouldn’t be..I don’t know how serious he is with me. He has slept with 5 girls before me! It was hard for me to break up and he never wanted to let me go..It took me few months to settle upour relationship..And even after breaking up, I was feeling stupid and I hate myself sometimes for being so easy for him,especially he is not my type of guy. So,what should I say about this? 2 years has passed and I still can’t really get over this.
Sometimes whenever I think back,I can’t forgive myself eventhough I try to forget everything. I never believe that I will lost my virginity to a jerk. I’ve always wanted to keep it after marriage and lost it to a virgin guy as well..,at least not to a guy who took more than 5 girls virginity!! Well, I know this is a very expensive lesson for me,to simply trust a guy and let his hand all over me. A guy who treats me like a slave,who comes to me whenever he wants to, have sex with me throughout the midnight and leaves before dawn.
I think I should say to let the person who worth it to have your cherry. I did meet mine,and it was too late that I didn’t keep for him. I do regret but I think there is nothing that I can do. Can’t I? My boyfriend is understanding and he stands beside me to go thru this. He never mind as he loves me for who I am. Sometimes, in a way I feel lucky to have him.
Anyway, I am still living through the old flames and memories. I hope I will get over everything one day..I hope God do hear my prayer everyday and helps me to go through this.
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