Well it was the most fantastic voyage my body has ever been on. I was s old and horny as hell. I had been masturbating since I and it was a daily ritual. The problem was that I was beging to chafe like you wouldn’t believe. I tried all sorts of different oils and lotions: vasoline, vegtable oil, axel grease, hand lotion, jello. I mean everything but it didn’t do the job. So I was feeling pretty bummed since I couldn’t jerk the gherkin. I was heading down towards main street at about midnight one day when this short, trollish woman approached me. Her name was Paulette and she was a dirty little slutty girl. She approached me and asked me if I was looking for a good time. I said “always!” So she told me to follow her and we headed down towards the river. It was a cold night and I had a serious case of THO. When we reached the river she took me to her “home”. Her home consisted of a pile of old newspapers and a rusted out van. As we crawled into the damp van all I could smell is cat litter and cherry coke but there were no cats or empty soda bottles to be found. She told me to lay down on the shag carpet and she began to undress. I was amazed when she took her bra off. Those round skin bubbles of her’s didn’t drop an inch. As my penis grew to a hardened 3 inch mass she began to undress me. She was there in her panties when she told me to role over on my stomach. I thought it was odd but she told me she knew what she was doing. Before I had a chance to think just how odd it was she plunged her penis into my ass. I screamed at her hermaphrodite ass at first but then it started to feel real good. After she finished I liked the smegma out of her rock solid uncircumsized cock. We had dirty van sex all that summer and needless to say I never had to masturbate again.
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