Where it happened: my friends sister's room
Langauge: English
Sex: Male
Rating: 10
Category: Straight
Looking back on my life I’d have to say that my first experience with “goin all the way” screwed me up for the next 10 years (at least) of having a healthy sexual experience. The reason. I was 10 years old, the girl was 9 and her brother was 12.
The whole experience, I can not even call it sexual, occured several times and was exploritory. As I remember I was not the instigator. Her brother, Richard, was. I also remember Richard was keen on starting bonfires too. I just remember doin stuff that started off kind of playhouse like but ended, “ok you do this and Sara do that.” and then the other person, would look to check. Really sick stuff.
This secret stopped when I was playing with some friends. I remember it was a hot summer day and we were popping bubbles of oil on the street. Richard came up to me and my friends and whispered that he’d tell my friends that I had sex with his sister. I burst into tears and ran away. I went home and my mom asked me to help with making apple sauce. I was in a panic stage and ran to my room crying. I cried for a longtime. Later my mom tried to talk to me and i bluffed some answer.
Compounded this terrible experience was going to Christian summer camps. They would lay on these enormous guilt trips about premaritial sex and becoming a christian. I remember being in a “bunk” and the cousular saying you shouldn’t think about sex and a guy saying he thinks about sex every 15 seconds. Confusion.
What helped me feel ok, in my 20’s, was seeing that the world is not so perfect. Gay people, bisexual people exist and are good loving people. Gays have been discrimitated against hugly and a good portion of them have risen against the negativitiy and become great people. That helped me.
Now I am married…to a woman! I am happy but aknowleged that I went through a really negative sexual experience, but I’m ok.
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