Where it happened: His den
Langauge: English
Sex: Female
Rating: 5
Category: Straight
Is it consensual if you didn’t say yes but also didn’t say no? I’m not sure. I’m not even sure how this all started. To be honest, it was kind of sudden.
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Last semester, a new kid transferred from a nearby state. All I remember was instantly being into him. He was definitely my type, and I’m pretty selective, so it’s actually very rare that I find someone I like instantly. I’m not very social but somehow we became friends. He wasn’t an awesome friend, but he was really loyal. Still is, actually. Nothing much has changed.
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A bit about Jack (that’s his name): he’s the wrong kind of kid. Not in the stereotypical, ‘let’s do drugs in the bathroom’ kind of way. He’s just… different, I guess. He has a dark sense of humour. He says things before he means to. He’s rough and gets angry too easily and doesn’t seem to care much. But he’s sweet. He doesn’t understand why I get upset when he gets hurt in a fight. He’s also spontaneous- okay, so most people call it impulsive, but I think he’s fun. He’s not all bad. And I don’t believe that he’s bad for me. He doesn’t impinge on my schoolwork or my personality. He hasn’t changed me very much. Well…
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About two weeks ago I turned sixteen. Jack invited me over to his place after school. It was nothing new. I’d been over to his place before. His dad is a stockbroker or something, so he’s got a pretty big place. I mean, I live in one of the richest towns on the East Coast, even though I’m very middle-to-lower class. He doesn’t seem to mind.
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We both share a love for BBC shows like Skins UK and Doctor Who, so whenever we hang out, we usually just laze around on the couch and watch television. Sometimes we get up for a snack. But in general we just hang out. His parents were away (surprise, surprise, right?) and had left him home with the nanny. Apparently the housekeeper had taken some extra sleeping pills, so she was out cold. Plus her room was on the other side of the house- as for who else could come walking through the front door? I guess we didn’t really care.
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At the time, we were watching Casanova, the one with David Tennant. His mom had the box set and I have this serious thing for David Tennant, so of course we HAD to watch it. During one of the more mature parts, I joked around and said that this was turning me on, and before I really knew what happened, Jack had jumped me. I asked him what he was doing, but he just started touching me. No direct kissing, though. It was all fingers and tongue after that. Eventually I stopped trying to make him listen to me and just relaxed and enjoyed it, even when he dropped my pants. I never was very self conscious. Okay, so maybe I blushed a little, but that was it. This was Jack. I figured I could trust him.
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It was really fast-paced after that. He didn’t even take any of his clothes off. Didn’t bother taking my shirt off either. He’s probably had sex before because he was actually really good at it. I haven’t, and it hurt worse than hell. Granted, that was probably HIS fault, because he knew I was a virgin and didn’t even bother being gentle with me. In fact, he was really mean about it. Though maybe he knows something the rest of us don’t, because it actually felt a lot better when I did end up orgasming, and I’ve heard a lot of people don’t orgasm their first time… or maybe I just have some sort of weird pain fetish. In which case, Jack’s definitely the guy for me. He used his tongue and his teeth and his fingers and I still have the bruises- and I mean bruises, not hickeys. It must look like somebody raped me. Jack always was pretty violent.
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When I think about it, it could constitute as rape. I bet if I went and got screened, he would be arrested. Not that I would have any reason to do that- I didn’t say no. And as first times went, it was pretty good. The only thing that I regret is never asking him what it meant- means, actually, since we still have sex. I think we’ve fallen into the role of ‘friends with benefits’. And trust me, these are some serious benefits. I’m not worried about STDs, since I figure if Jack had them, I’d be screwed already (no pun intended). I’m also infertile, so no pregnancy scares there. We didn’t even use a condom the first time. We haven’t since.
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But the thing is, I’m pretty sure I love Jack. As a friend and as a lover. Even before this, I’d had a huge crush on him. We flirted all the time, but I was pretty sure it didn’t mean anything. Now I’m confused, but the sex is good, and I can pretend, right? I don’t want to screw anything up. Besides, Jack’s not one to beat around the bush, so I figure if he wants something more, he’ll say it. I guess I’ll just have to deal for now.
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