Where it happened: his house
Langauge: english
Sex: Female
Rating: 5
Category: Straight
heya, ill share my story with you.
my best friend, lets say shes called ellie, had been dating this guy, lets call him leon, for a few months. they were totally in love, you could just tell. they had done everything but sex, and i was shocked, because ellie was only 12. ‘how could she even be involved with this stuff when shes this young’, i thought. he was 13 at the time i think. ok so they had sex at this point, and i was astonished. i thought it was just wrong. ok they really loved each other, but i could tell he talked her into it. so after about 6 months they broke up. now i still talked to leon, cuz i was best friends with him, and one night he said his family was really getting on his nerves, and he was feeling really depressed. i had troubles at that point too, so i said yeah fine. we met up, i brought vodka. i didnt get drunk, he got slightly tipsy.so we talked for a while, just about everything that was bothering us, then eventually he started joking around, kissing my cheek and hugging me, then in the middle of the joking around we ended up completely face to face, and we stopped laughing. i remember having a huge urge to kiss him. we just stared at each other for probably a few seconds, but it felt like a lifetime. then he leant in to kiss me, and couldnt help it, i let him kiss me, and kissed him back. after a few moments and pulled away and told him i couldnt, id been best friends with ellie for years. then he gently turned my head again, and i looked into his eyes, and it felt felt like something in me snapped. i kissed him this time, really passionatly. this went on for a while, and eventually we stopped, and started talking. he told me he loved me, and he’d always thought i was different. i’d always admired him, and was envious of ellie coz leon was a really cool guy, the year above us in school, and just naturally… well, cool. id admired him, and secretely quite liked him, but him telling me he loved me made me love him. pft. anyways back to the story. so during all the kissing he had his hand up my top, tried to go down my jeans but i wasnt really comfy with that, so i told him no even though he tried it a few times more. so, about six in the morning, i snuck back into my house, feeling proud of myself and suddenly seeing him in a new light. i loved him. anyways, i went on holiday for a week just after that, and i agreed to meet up again the night after i came back. i’d been on the phone numerous times with him, and he talked about how far i’d go and stuff. i didnt really want to have sex with him. but he said he loved me. so, somehow walking to his, i knew what was going to happen, it was like, unspoken but definite. so, i walked round his back gate, and he snuck me in. we went upstairs, into his room. it was quite big, but basic. walls where a neutral cream, carpet i dont remember. it was a perfectly square room, with a double bed against the wall near the door, a tv set at the bottom of the bed, a big wardrobe, and a desk with a big mac computer station. sorry ok you dont wanna hear me rambling about the decor i guess lol. ok so we got in, and he started kissing me, and slowly undressing me. i was wearing a plain silver tank top, black skinny jeans and a black jacket. i remember the zip got caught and i had to take it off like, over my head lol. so he lay me down on the bed, and once we were both completely naked, he slid his hand down and started fingering me. it hurt, quite a lot. it was the stretching of it that hurt. so he then got some saliva on his fingers, put in on his penis and guided it in. i can remember it really hurt. he was quite big, in that sense lol. so he kept going, he knew it hurt me but he was kinda inconsiderate about it, he aksed me if i was ok and i said kinda, and he just went ‘ok just let me try it for a while, it’ll stop hurting.’ but it didnt really. so we messed around for a while after, then we were done. i didnt orgasm once the whole night, but they say first time sex is always like that. so i walked home, feeling all proud like ‘yeah, i did it before nearly all my friends!’ and i remember it still hurt for like the next day. in the back of my mind, i felt dirty, and really stupid. also, worried.. we didnt use a condom. so for the next few days i bragged about it to a few of my friends, acting all cool. then i had to go stay with my dad in spain for a few weeks,a nd his girlfriend overheard me discussing it on the phone. she bought me a preg. test, but she then told my mum and dad. they were so devstated about it. they told me how stupid i was, and i acted like i didnt have a care in the world, like iwas too cool. but the stuff they said brought that feeling of being dirty forward, and i couldnt bear it. i went for a steaming hot shower, and i remember sitting down and crying my eyes out. i felt used and worthless, and i realised how after being so shocked at what ellie had done just about 6 months before me, id become exactly that. my parents telling me i was too young and stupid to have done it, and also without protection. they said i was attention seeking. by saying it all, they broke down the ‘im too cool to care about it’ barrier i had up. i realised how vulnerable i was. and i hated leon for doing this. i hated him. he never loved me, he even admitted that eventually. i realised, me loving him? nope. i loved the THOUGHT of him loving me, someone older, cooler, i’d get respect for being with. nah. so i’d always thought ‘im not really bothered about being with someone i love for the first time. its more just getting the first time over with, it’ll be fun.’ trust me. wait til you WANT to do it, but with someone who you love, who means something to you. and i did it at an extremely young age, not ready to cope with the emotional part of it – i also didnt care about that, i thought there was nothing other than physical parts to sex, it was all bullshit to me – so please wait til your absolutly sure you can cope. and you’d be surprised at the amount of girls who think they are, but after.. they’re really not. and please, pleasepleasepleaseplease use a condom. i was lucky not to get pregnant.
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