D

I had to go home for lunch, I was living with my girlfriend at the time. She’d given me the odd handjob here and there but nothing too exciting. So there I was making a sandwich when I decided to be a smartass. “Wanna fuck?” I asked, grinning. “Sure.” she replied. So we went to her room and we reaffirmed numerous times “Yes, I’m sure I wanna lose my virginity today.” What day was it? Hell if I know. I put my dingalingdingdong inside her and started pumping. I remember being surprised that I lasted longer than five minutes so I told her to ride me. It was this day that I nicknamed her “DeadFish” because she was prety much only good at laying down, I had to roll her over myself for doggystyle…but thats another story. THIS is the story of my first time, not the hundred or so repeats we had afterwards. So she gets on top, and I play with her A cup boobies. They were my first boobies I played with; not the first time though. I had had my fair share of adventures with my girlfriends boobies, after all she didn’t give it up until 9 months into our relationship. BORING. So she had to let me do ther shit, like finger her and fondel her tits. You get the point. One might say that her small A’s cups were my training boobies for the D’s that would be eventual girlfried I’ve got now.
So, she’s riding me and my condom starts slipping around and feelin weird. Maybe I didnt put it on right, I dont know. i hate condoms, makes sex less fun. Dont wear condoms kids. Just do the pull and pray. Way more fun, and it proves how manly you are cause its both bravery and supidity that leads to this. But fuck it, thats why they invented the pill. So I’m like “Hey let me fuck you doggystyle. This is FUN” (Yeah, i was a fan of sex from the very begining) and she says “Oh my god? what? you have no respect for me? you dont wana look me in the face when we have sex? you wanna imagine someone else?” …I dont remember what I said to this but i hope it was something along the lines of “Bitch shut the fuck up, its lunchtime, I’m imagining my fine-ass PuertoRican English teacher, and waiting to eat that sandwich was makin.” but i probably said something gay like “Baby. Of course not. I love you so much. Like, my love for you, is bigger than the sky baby. Bigger than the world.”
However it went I ended up mounting her from behind, I was crouched like a fuckin gorilla and shit, just poundin hard, my condom was really falin off now and she was just wailin’ and screamin I was like “Hell yeah, ten minutes down on my virginity loss. Time to bust a nut” I fucked her as hard as I could and it was amazing; til I was about to cum. Then i pulled of the condom (cause it was mostly off anyways) and came all over her ass. It was pretty sweet. She didnt do much but complain and enjoy herself but thats alright. I was the bomb.
After that we broke up a few weeks later, she turned into a whore; havin threesomes with random guys, cheating on all her boyfriends with multiple other guys. I like knowing I broke her cherry, and destroyed her as a person. At the same time.

Prologue: Afterwards, we went back to school. I never got my sandwich. I skipped through the hallway like Ross in that one episode of Friends where he bands the French chick and Jennifer Aniston IN THE SAME NIGHT. What a baller. I went to English class and saw my sexy PuertoRican English teacher and she never looked sexier. Cause I just got laid FOR THE FIRST TIME.

Moral of my story: My first time sucked. The best sex I ever had was with this chick I hooked up with who was so totally into me and I was so totally into her that all she did was grind on me with clothes on and I came. So remember kids, dont fuck your bitchy girlfriend, who whines at you all day long about stupid shit, because shes gonna whine at you the whole time youre fuckin about stupid shit. IN FACT: Four years after we broke up, I fucked her sister. SHE was HOT in bed. She was AN ANIMAL. A BEAST. Damn…I need to give her a call…so maybe the moral to this story is…if you wanna lose your virginity, and you have a bitch of a girlfriend, who is bad at handjobs, and doesnt like giving blowjobs, and iss just an all around cunt; have sex with her litle sister instead. And if that isnt an option cause her sisters too young, have a one night stand with a girl you really like, and fuck her brains out, Make sure shes a virgin too though or else you’ll look like a fool not knowing where to put it cause you didnt have a girlfriend to practise on….
This is just a lose lose situation no materwhat you do. Just stay home and masturbate.

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