Where it happened: His bedroom
Langauge: English
Sex: Female
Rating: 10
Category: Straight
This happened a few years ago when I was in Europe on an exchange program with my college. I am writing this in order to mentally work out what happened.
I was at a party and a guy I named Henk started to flirt with me. It was fun and he asked if he could get me something to drink. I am not drinking alcohol so I asked for a cola. Henk soon came back with two cups. A Coke for me and a beer for himself. Henk was rather tall and looked fit. He was very generous with nice words about my looks, and that felt good to hear because I perceive myself to be rather plain and not very outgoing. I did however have a boyfriend back home and at first I keep my guard up because it was rather obvious that Henk was trying to pick me up.
As we were talking I started to feel more and more attracted to Henk and he looked more and more handsome. My soul filled up with energy, passion and love. We started to discuss deep topics and it was like we had known each other forever, like he had always been in my life. We had seen each other in classes and exchanged a few words before this evening, but this was our first real conversation and within an hour I knew he was my soul mate, somebody whom I had been missing all my life. I am usually a quiet person but now I was talking up a storm and it felt so wonderful to just talk.
“Let’s dance” said Henk. I am very inhibited when it comes to singing and dancing, but now it seemed like my body and the music became as one.
Henk and I went out and started kissing. His kisses were so incredibly soft and my hormones were running wild. I am a woman with strong Christian values and I was a virgin. So was my boyfriend in America, whom I by now had more or less forgotten about. We were planning on waiting with intercourse until we got married. It was different with Henk. I had positively no inhibitions at all that evening.
At Henk’s place we took our clothes off and he started to massage my body. The sensation of his incredible touch was heavenly. I have had massages before but this one was way beyond anything I had ever dreamed about. My desire for this man was almost reaching the level of unbearable. Then he laid himself on my body and put his penis in my hole. I had many times feared the pain of having my hymen torn, but now I was just burning with a strong desire for it to happen. It hurt as he pressed his way in and all of a sudden it was like a flash went through my body and he sank all the way in to my most private part. For the next minutes I experienced an incredible feeling of us two being one soul and one body.
“You are bleeding. Let’s make love in the shower” said Henk and carried me to the bathroom. As I bent forward and he entered me from behind I could see how blood from my torn hymen washed down my legs and in to the drain. The feeling of the soft warm water from the shower caressing the outside of my body as Henk’s penis caressed the inside of my body was magic. After a while he started to make grunting sounds and had an orgasm. We went out of the shower, dried our bodies and went back to the bed. The sheet was stained with my blood and I was still bleeding a little. Henk took a cloth and wiped me until the bleeding stopped. We embraced and my life felt so incredibly wonderful. I had found the love of my life.
The next day I felt very confused. Was that really me? I had lost my innocence to a man I had only talked to for some hours and I had betrayed my boyfriend in the most profound way. Henk did not use a condom and he ejaculated inside me. Why did I let this happen? I must break up with my boyfriend so I can pursue the relationship with this incredible man, my soul mate Henk.
My thoughts became even more confused when Henk treated me as if I was unimportant to him. He had no time for me, except a few days later when we made love again. I was deeply in love with him, but this time it did not feel the same at all. After that he avoided me and I felt heart broken.
I told my friend Fanny that I was in love with Henk and that he seemed to ignore me. Then she dropped a bomb right in my face.
“There is talk about Henk screwing you for a bet.” She told me that the guys knew I was a virgin and Henk bet them he could take my innocence before I was going back to America. He dissolved ecstacy in my coke in order to break down my resistance. The day after our lovemaking he had even shown the guys the blood stained cloth he had wiped me with.
At first I just felt completely empty, denying to myself that this lovely man could do something that simple. Then I realized that I had only been his toy. I was raped by a man who used a drug to manipulate my mind and my emotions. My boyfriend will hate me forever if he finds out. Then I got angry and hated Henk for raping me. But the hate was still mixed with love. The experience of oneness had been so profoundly deep that my brain could not stop loving him on the emotional level.
I confronted Henk with the story that Fanny told me. He totally denied it at first, but when I pressured him he admitted having given me ecstacy.
“Hey, you got a good fuck out of it, so why complain?”
If I had possessed enough mental strength I would have sued him, but the attitude toward drugs is very liberal in that country so I would probably have had a very small chance to get justice done.
My boyfriend and I gave up our plan to save intercourse for the wedding night. Sex is good with him, but I always compare it to what I experienced with Henk. Even though I know that it was all enhanced with a drug that made my brain go on high gear, I can not let go of the feeling I had. I miss the sensation of being one, miss the unbelievable emotions, and the total lack of inhibitions. In our best moments, my boyfriend and I can come half way there. Now it is like something is missing in my life.
Henk raped me with a drug. Then he humiliated me behind my back. My heart is still broken and I am living a lie with my boyfriend, hoping he will never find out that I let another man take my innocence. .
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