Where it happened: house
Langauge: english
Sex: Female
Rating: 5
Category: Straight
Before I begin let me just say that I am not going to preach that you should always save yourself for marriage (although if you can hold out-good for you).This happened about 15 years ago and I have to say that I would have waited.
I was 16 years old (a sophomore)and dating this guy in my close circle of friends for about 6 months (which in high school years seems like forever). He was always over for family dinners and holidays and vice-versa. We were kind of the “it” couple in our school and people would talk about us and say we would last forver, etc. People were always asking if we had done it yet, which was none of their business. I never answered, however I found out later that he felt very pressured from some of the older guys on his team when he told them no.
We had made out alot before and we started talking about it and he thought it would be “the right thing to do” to show our committment to each other. We made plans about going to colleges near each other, and getting married, etc. I thought about it and told him I didn’t think it was the right time, I could tell he was disappointed. I know now that I should not have cared.
My mom worked and we were off school for a few days so I was home alone. I was very responsible-I never drank, smoked, had good grades, or gotten into any trouble, so my mom had no problem leaving me alone. Anyway he came over and we started kissing. We were watching a movie and we rolled onto the floor. He started to take off my shirt and caress and kiss my breasts (which were 36 C’s)and then proceeded to take off my jeans. We were kissing and touching and it got really hot, and he said something like “I love you so much, I can’t wait until we make love.” Well it was a weak moment for me, he had told me many times that he loved me before, but it was just such a tender moment and I was really worked up from all of the kissing and touching, and I said “okay.” So I layed down and we kept on kissing and touching and I asked him if he had a condom, which he did. So I told him to put it on and he did. I remeber alot of moving aaround and fumbling and feeling embarrassed. I also remember it really hurting and having tears streaming from my eyes-partly from pain and partly because I felt like I was making a mistake and it was too late to back out (which it never is). He kept saying “I’ll stop, do you want to stop, are you okay?” I told him I was fine but I knew it was a mistake, the catholic guilt starting coming back to me. Well it was over kind of quick, but as we continued it did feel better but not great. We were both virgins so there was alot of fumbling. Anyway we hugged and kissed alot afterwards, but I remember feeling very guilty and wondering what he would expect now that we had crossed that line. I also remeber feeling a let down like “that’s it, what’s the big deal”, Now I realize that if I waited until I was truly ready and in a long term adult relationship -it is a big deal.
Well when I told me best friends what happened they were surprised. They thought I had done the wrong thing and was worried that we were too young. They were supportive but my friend told me years later that she was disappointed. We were all virgins and they felt betrayed that I went ahead and did it anyway even though we kind of all agreed that we wouldn’t do it so that our boyfriends (whom were all friends) wouldn’t pressure any of us. We dated for a total of just about 2 years- all of sophomore year and all of junior year into the summer. We had sex off and on, he wanted it alot after the first time, but he got careless. He told me that if he pulled out I wouldn’t get pregnant. I knew there was a chance but I never really thought it would happen to me. I felt guilty all the time whenever we had sex, I should have known.
We had sex about one year later and we did not use a condom. I did not get my period for the next 2 months. We started talking about what we would do-he was slated to go to a great college after senior year and I was going onto college too. We started talking about getting married living with parents going to community college, getting jobs,etc. I cried alot, but he was great he always comforted me. He told me to take a pregnancy test but I was too scared. I prayed all the time that I was not pregnant. Well later that month I got my period, and it was so bad and I was in so much pain, my mom had to call the Dr. The first question the Dr. asked was if I had sex. My mom said “no of course not”. She said then it was probably nothing and to take some Tylenol but if it didn’t get better in a few days to go to the ER. I knew the Dr. thought I might have had a miscarriage. I still don’t know if I did to this day, but I think I may have. Not alot of people know that. We were relieved and went on dating but didn’t have alot of sex for awhile and when we did we were very careful. Eventually we got tired of each other and wondered what were missing out on. It was the summer before our senior year and we both wanted to be free.
I broke up with him, but then I regretted it. Well 1 week later I found out he had slept with this whore and was dating her-they dated all senior year. They only went on one date and she slept with him! I was crushed that he got over me that easily. We got into many arguments and still saw alot of each other because of our mutal friends. He eventually apologized and said he didn’t love her but she was “there” and he was hurt. It took almost the whole year to get over him.
During that time I dated other guys, but didn’t have sex with any of them, (actually one of the guys I dated turned into a great friend and is now my hubby). I met another guy before prom and fell madly in love with him. We had sex after prom and went on to date for 3 years- almost all through college-before we broke up. I truly loved him and consider him my first love. I wished I would have waited for him.
Looking back I would have waited to have sex because high school love is not really true love. It is a very weird but great time, and it doesn’t need to be complicated with sex-which it will be. I met up with “my first” years later. We were civil towards each other, but he knows I think it was a mistake to have sex so young. I would tell anyone to wait until you’re out of high school and dating for awhile to know if it is really love and to always use a condom.
Years later -after college- my fiancee and I were not always careful and I got pregnant. We got married right away are now happily married, but I am one of the lucky ones. Just watch Jerry Spring or Maury and you see all the jerks who promised to love the girl but then deny the baby. So be smart and wait- high school love is not usually true love. It will be all the more special if you wait and are careful.
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