Where it happened: Hotel Room
Langauge: English
Sex: Male
Rating: 5
Category: Straight
My first time was a little later in life than most of my friends. But in a sense it was good, I could ask them how their first time was and what I should do, or say and how fast I should go you know the normal stuff. So I had dated this girl for a while now maybe a year. Only problem was she lived in NYC and I lived in MD. I guess you could say it was love but mostly i felt like i was only in a relationship because all my friends were in one. The only problem was i was gay. Coming from a Pakistani household we never talked about sex like we never talked about jews. My parents were very conservative and sex was only to be done with your wife when you get married. Obviously living in America its hard not to date and do stuff when everyone around you is and it seems normal.
So anyways I told my gf i wanted to have sex. She thought it was a good idea since we were going to get married and spend the rest of our lives together. Mostly i wanted to do it so I could prove to myself I wasn’t gay. I didn’t wanna be so this was my way to seal the deal and commit myself to a life of heterosexuality. So one day me and my two best girl friends took a roadtrip to NYC. They were telling me on the way of what i should do and i had packed towels and wipes because she would bleed and that freaked the hell outa me but my friends told me it would only be for a bit and then we could continue on and enjoy the sex. Keep in mind they didn’t know i was gay at this point. So we get to NYC i droped the girls off at a mall and pick up my gf and we get a hotel room in this really shady motel. I was so nervous. So we talk for a bit and im like okay can we just do this. So we start making out for a bit the only thing is im not fully hard. so i tell her to get completely naked so we both get completely naked and get inside the sheets. I get hard and i put the condom on i try to put my dick in her but it wont go in. She grabs it and says wrong hole. so once its in the right hole. she says it hurts im like really really so we stop for 20 minutes and try again. shes like how about you lick me for a bit. I was like okayyyy. as soon as she spread her legs. i was confused. and scared. wtf is this shit?
there so many layers and folds and what the fuck am i suppose to lick? it looked like a big hole that would suck me in. ike one of those freaky plants you see in scifi movies that eat people.
i told her i couldn’t do that instead i fingered her for a bit but i had to keep my head away. this was just freaking me out to the core. the little hard on i did had now was completely gone.
so we tried again this time i thought about a hot guy i worked with at work and how i wanted to blow him behind the racks. bingo!
so after like 2 minutes i was done. and she ran to the bathroom im sure to clean up the blood. she came back and was like okay my turn. ??? I was like oh ok so i didn’t know what to do so i just lay there next to her and kissed her neck while she fingered herself. at one point she grabbed my hair and banged my head against the headboard. i guess her finger was doing a good job. so she finished and we left the hotel. i felt nothing afterwords. it didnt bring us closer like i thought it would it just made the gap bigger. i knew at the right moment it was time for me to accept myself for whole i am. shortly afterwords i broke up with her. i didn’t have any kind of sex for a year just focused on school and my friends. Then sophomore year of college i came out to everyone. so my firsttime wasn’t about sexual pleasure or love. it was about me realizing i was gay and there’s was nothing i could do to change that. it was about me being honest with myself and the people in my life. my first time helped me come out. and as awkward/scary as the sex was i wouldnt change a thing.
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