Where it happened: my dorm room
Langauge: English
Sex: Female
Rating: 2
Category: Straight
So I was a virgin college freshman, not the only one in the school but definitely not the majority. I had had a boyfriend in high school but we had just messed around, nothing below the waist and definitely no sex. But I am a very outgoing person, very sexual as well. I flirt endlessly, always have, always will, with both boys and girls (although I am straight) and talk alot about sex and the like. Most people my freshman year were surprised when I told them that I was in fact a virgin, although I did not share the information openly.
In my dorm I hooked up with quite a few guys (nothing more than a little dry humping) and even had my first threesome, yet I kept my virginity. Often I had to physically push the boys’ hands away from my zipper. I had a strange reputation as a tease who wasn’t really. Then I met Todd.
Todd lived 4 floors above me. He was the kind of boy I always liked. He wore sandals every day (even in the winter), smoked pot every night, and was a fucking genius. He was the dorm president and exremely popular. Everyone knew him and wanted to talk to him. Todd and I had been aquiantances for awhile, and I had always thought he was gorgeous with his blond hair and hippy clothes. One day he came to my room for no reason and just sat down with me on our futon and watched Chasing Amy with me. It was strange that he was there because he had never come down to my room before but I was so happy I didn’t say a thing. That whole night he stayed in my room, only leaving a few times to smoke up with his buddies. We lied down together on the futon while my roomate and her boyfriend slept lying on the floor next to us. We had just been sort of looking at each other and then he kissed me. (I couldn’t stop smiling because I was soooo happy) We made out for a long time that night and he didn’t try anything else. From then on he slept over nearly every night with me. Slowly we progressed from kissing to touching, petting, oral sex, etc. Since I was so inexperienced I thought he was spectatular but now I know that he was really lousy. He never brought me to orgasm (not once! although I am not an easy girl to please) and as soon as he came we were done. I knew he wasn’t a virgin (he had had sex with a few of my friends — he was pretty much a player) and after about a month he found out I wasn’t either. But he kept with me, i don’t know why.
One night we were in my bedrooom making out and doing what we usually do and i went down on him but he kept pushing me away with his knee. I figured I was doing something wrong (we never talked during our “sessions”) so I stopped. Before I knew it he had taken off all of my clothes, which made me very uncomforatble. I am very very insecure, but we had been seeing each other for about two months so I didn’t say anything. He took off his clothes too then. After a little more making out he started rubbing his penis against my cunt, kinda pushing it in alittle. I didn’t stop him, it felt okay. The he leaned over and whispered into my ear
“Do you have a condom?”
Instantly I said no, i didn’t want to have sex with him, but i felt my mind changing. I was curious and I really liked todd. But trthfully I had no condoms in my room, but we did have some in our common room by the futon, so he put his boxers back on and ran out to get one. When he came back in he got on top of me and went inside me. Now he had a very small penis (i call him pinky boy — think of the size and width of a pinky) so I barely felt anything. It was like this internal feeling, not really pain, but not pleasure. I can’t describe it. That was it. I was excited afterwards because I had finally had sex, but I was disappointed.
The worst part is that a few days later he stared having sex with another girl I knew and stopped coming to my room altogether. He never said a word to me about why or anything. He just left. I don’t think him leaving had anything to do with us having sex. (He had been mentioning her name more than usual and I had been getting bad vibes before we even did it) I didn’t care that he had taken my virginity, I just hate being ignored. I got pretty upset and did some stupid things (including go out with his roomate so Todd would have to walk in on us in his bed alot) It was one of the worst experiences of my life, and has truly ruined my trust in boys. I am glad I had sex with him though because it was a boundary of adolescence that I finally had passed. I have had sex with two other boys since then and discovered that sex can feel wonderful. Although he and I hate each other now pretty much, truthfully though if he told me he would get back together with me I would drop my current boyfriend and get back with him. Isn’t that awful? For some reason I have this attachment to him that I don’t undrestand. But there is no chance of him ever wanting me again. He got expelled from my school for dealing drugs and lives about 2 hours from me plus he is with another girl (not the one he dropped me for — he did the same thing to her that he did to me). I have alot of anger and resentment towards him and all boys, but I think it is an experience I needed to go through. I hope when some one reads this they will learn something. A lot of college boys are not in it for the long run. That is important to remember. Don’t get attached. Listen to your friends; they know what is really going on, they are not blinded by love. It is fine to have sex just don’t think that it will mean that the guy loves you. Don’t even think that if he spends all of his time with you, that means you are an item.
Good luck and if you go to UNH stay away from any sorta scrawny, Ultimate Frisbee playing, blond wannabee hippies. Todd is not his real name, but you will be able to recognize him by his DISGUSTING toes. They are all fungusy and nasty.
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