Where it happened: Friend's apartment
Langauge: English
Sex: Male
Rating: 5
Category: Straight
We have all had chance meetings that we remember and those that we want to forget. This particular encounter is one that has stuck in my mind, even though I have tried for so long to forget. I from time to time find myself remembering the events of this time in my life and as I slip back, I find the events become quite vivid. Maybe I wish it would somehow occur again or that I could, in some way go back and relive the experience once again. I do have mixed feeling about it, but whenever I do find myself remembering what happened, I just as quickly wish again to forget it ever take place.
I was a fifteen-year-old delinquent that was skipping class to hang out at the local game room by the high school. I was a popular person in my first year of high school and I was spending a lot of time at the game room. Over the first few months, I had started to become good friends with a man that was the owner of the game room, and for this story, I will refer to him as John. He was probably 10 years older than me, had dark skin and dark hair, and it was not until later that I found out he was the owner.
Everyone at the school liked hanging out up at the game room during the day and sometime, even into the evening, including me. I really did not take notice of John to much at first, but I think he must have been watching me and noticing how much time I was spending at the game room. At this time, John must have decided at that point to see if he could somehow build up a friendship and eventually encourage me to have a relationship with him. At the time, I had no idea John was gay but it would soon be quite evident.
As I mentioned, I did have many friends, several of which were girls, but being shy, I was still a virgin, but this was about to change. At first, it all started out fairly innocent. Conversations with John were nothing more than asking for change to play on the machines or the casual, “Hello” as I entered the game room. However, it soon not progressed to give me free games on the pinball machines when he saw me hanging out there and a little while later, the older guys that worked at the game room started giving me pot and pills. My friendship with John grew and soon he was comfortable in asking me to go out for breakfast and lunch with him, which at first I was reluctant to do, but John eventually convinced me it would be ok. I was enjoying skipping classes to hang out at the game room, even though my grades were hurting, I wanted to be there.
Our friendship grew and when we would go out for breakfast or lunch, our conversations were innocent, at least on the surface, but I am quite sure he was look to manipulate the situation as he continually built up my confidence and find a way to persuade me to sleep with him. There was one particular day that stands out when I think about what happened and it would be a turning point in our friendship; a situation that would forever be indelibly marked in my thoughts.
We were out for breakfast on day, when our simple conversation turned to a conversation about sex and girls. John asked if I had ever been with a girl and at the time, I had been with several girls but I had not gone all the way, but I was not going to let on that I was not experienced. We talked about what hair color we liked, boobs, asses, etc., and we laughed a little. John then asked what my favorite thing was to do, do I like having my dick sucked and what position I like best. When I did not answer right away he asked, “Have you never done that before?” He must have somehow realized that I had never had sex before either, because he asked, “You really haven’t had done it before, huh?” I explained that no, I had not done it before, and John appeared to be shocked a little, and jokingly asked if I liked men. I quickly snapped at him saying, “No,” and he said he was just kidding. Still, I did not like the insinuation but it did seem calm the conversation slightly. John now had the opening he was looking for to see if I was actually interested in having sex with him. He stated the conversation again by saying; you know that some guys are attracted to other men. I knew this and agreed but the conversation was making me a little uncomfortable again, but then he as he continued by asking me if I ever found other men attractive or if I had ever thought about having sex with another man. I again quickly said, “No that I had never been attracted to other men and I would never have sex with another man.” John said, “I know, I know,” and I insisted that I was only attracted to girls. John chuckled and to calm me down again, he said that he knew that I only like girls and not to worry. I was a little upset but I soon realized he was joking with me again so I let it go. Our conversation paused for a little bit and John knew something was wrong, so he asked me if everything was ok. I nodded in agreement that everything was good and John quickly said that he felt very comfortable talking with me about stuff and that he really enjoyed my company. I told him I enjoyed it too and smiling, John continued be say again how nice it was to talk with me and joke about stuff. I again nodded in agreement, which gave John time to continue the conversation. John then said that he was sorry if he embarrassed me and again I nodded my head and told him it was ok. John said, “Good,” and we went back to eating. Feeling it might be the opening he needed, John subtly said, “I think I need to tell you something,” and as I looked up at him, John cautiously told me that he was a bisexual. I was confused; I did not know what this was. With my curious look and the pause, John hurriedly acknowledged again that he knew that I only like girls, and as I nodded in agreement, he hesitantly asked if I know what it meant to be bisexual. I shook my head no and said that I did not. When John realized this, he grinned sheepishly and seemed to relish in the opportunity to explain what a bisexual was. John started by telling me it was two words put together, bi meaning two, like bicycle. I understood that but then John said, “And then the word sexual.” John continued by explaining that sexual means having sex. I knew what it meant, but why was he telling this? John slyly asked, “You know what that means, right?” I nodded my head, but still I was confused. John now continued by saying that he too was attracted to women, and after a short pause he continued by saying that there were times when he found men to be attractive too. I was taken aback, but he continued by explaining that being a bisexual meant that he did like having sex with women but it also meant that sometimes he enjoyed sleeping with men too. I was in shock as he continued the conversation by asking what I thought about it. I did not know what to say. Why was he telling me this? I was speechless and the conversation again paused for a little bit. What was I going to do now? John then told me he was not gay he just like men and women equally sometimes. As I looked up, John quickly said he was telling me this because we had become so close that he had become attracted to me and continued by saying that he had thought about asking me if I would like to sleep with him sometime, but he was not sure what I would say. I was very uneasy now with the situation and I think he knew it too. I did not know what to do; this man was my only way back to school. He then told me not to worry, that he was not going to do anything unless I felt the same way, but he explained that he wanted me to know how he felt. I was stunned and did not know what to say or do and I think he knew the subject made me nervous and that he might have pressed the issue a little to fast. As the conversation now stalled, John suggested that we should go. In the car, we did not talk, but John was determined to keep the conversation going and asked me if I would think about it. “Think about what,” I thought, “sleeping with him?” When I did not reply, he knew his opportunity to sleep with me was slipping away, so he quickly said, “I’ll give you anything if I would be willing to sleep with him. John followed up by telling me that he really liked me and said that he wanted to give me something for being so understanding and such a good listener. I was flattered but remained silent all the way back to the game room. When we got there, he asked me not to tell anyone about what we had talked about, and said it would not be good. No way was I going to say anything, so I nodded my head and he ended by again appealing to me to think about his offer and to let him know what it would take. He was not going to let it go until I agreed to think about it, so I quickly nodded and told him that I would think about it. It seemed to put John’s mind at ease, but at the time, it did not sit well with me about having sex with another man, however I did find myself thinking about it.
A few days later, I ventured back to the game room to hang out with friends and even though I tried to avoid John, he was able to corner me and asked if I had thought about his proposition. I told him that I had thought about it but I was still unsure about it. He said, “Come on let’s go get something to eat.” I tried to avoid having to go wit him, but his persistence in asking me to go with him was making me uncomfortable so I decided to go with him. While driving to the restaurant, he smiled at me and remarked that he was glad I still wanted to hang out with him. I simply nodded my head and John asked what it was that I would really like to have. I told him nothing and looking at me realized I was not going to do it, so he was hard-pressed to get an answer to find out and again asked, “Come on, there has to be something you would really like to have.” At the restaurant, we did not really talk about much, but I felt that he wanted to continue to find out what it would take to get me in bed. John now said, “Ok, I know you’re worried about it, let me just get you something for being such a good friend. Was he telling the truth? Would he get me something just for being a friend? John continued, “Come on, do you want me to get you a girl to sleep with, a car, or some spending money. He was not going to let it go so I eventually told him that I would really like to have a car. As I looked at him, I noticed a smile and a scheming look on his face. I knew I had given him the opening he was looking for and John now asked questioningly, what kind of car I would like to have. I told him I was not sure, but now he needed to keep this open so he kept probing to know what kind. He asked if I liked Camaros, Firebirds, Mustangs, etc. and I told him I was not sure what kind I wanted. He did not want to lose this chance to persuade me to sleep with him; he needed to know. Frustrated that I would not reveal what kind of car I would like, we left the restaurant. As we were driving back to the game room, he said, “Well, let me know what kind of car I would like to have and that he would get me whatever kind I wanted.” I was definitely excited about having a car and in thinking about the possibilities, smiled. All I had to do was tell him what kind of car I want and he would get it for me, no strings attached. It was to good to be true, and it was, because I was only thinking about having a car and not thinking about what I was leaving myself open to and that I would be giving him the opportunity to make me feel compelled to have sex with him, and not just once but many times. When we pulled into the parking lot, he reminded me to let him know what kind of car I would like and as we smiled at each other, I said I would. He immediately asked if I would be able to tell him tomorrow and I told him I would try. We got out of the car and went inside our separate ways as we entered the game room.
John really got me thinking about what kind of car I would like to have and as I thought about all the different kinds of cars, one kept coming to mind and it was a 1956 Chevy, but what would happen if I actually went though with it and told him? I was not sure, but I decided I would tell him. The next day when I went over to the game room, there he was and he came up to me and casually asked if I had made a decision. I was unsure as to how to answer, but I said that I had made a decision. He said, “Great, let’s go for a drive and you can tell me!” He was obviously excited as we left in his car and I told him that I would really like to have a ’56 Chevy. He paused but then smiling asked me if I was sure and I said excitingly, “Yea.” John now said, “Ok,” and told me that he would start looking for one. I was euphoric as I told him that I wanted it to be a two door with a V8 and I would like it to be midnight blue. He now knew that he had me right where he wanted me and he was not going to let this opportunity slip away so he said he would get right on it.
A few days later, while I was at the game room John came up to me and told me he had found the car and that we should take a drive and talk about it. He was very good; he made me so excited and in getting the car, he said he had seen the car, it was very nice, all it needed was to be painted, and that I could have it in a week or so. Again, he was continuing to build up my enthusiasm, making me even more excited to see it and drive it, but it was all a ploy, because now he had a question for me. John started by saying, “Well now that I have the car you want, what was I willing do for him.” I did not know what to say and I should have realized there was a catch to this whole thing. He said, “I will tell you what, you come over to my place with me tomorrow afternoon and try it, if you don’t like it, we can stop and we will leave, and you can still have the car.” I was stunned. “Why didn’t I see this coming,” I thought to myself. When we returned to the game room, he told me to come by tomorrow and let him know what I want to do. John restated the offer again by saying, “Come over to my place see what you think and you can have the car no matter what, because I know you really want that car. I was excited with the thought of have a car, however I was worried about what would happen at his house, but I was curious too. I had thought about it and later that afternoon, I decide I would do it. I really wanted that car he promised, even though I was leaving myself open to the possibility of having to have sex with him. I became apprehensive about the situation and for the rest of that day; I continued to think and imagine what I should expect the next day, I realized that I had not cum for a few days. I did not want to cum to much when I was with John, but I thought,”If I cum now, would I be able to cum tomorrow too.” I decided that I should go ahead and cum now,” and by tomorrow, I would still be able to cum when I was with John. I now wanted to jack-off while thinking of being with John, but as I would find out tomorrow, it would not be the same. My cock was already hard as I closed my eyes and started to jack off. I do not remember exactly what I was thinking, but it did not take long before I had cum. It felt so good and I had cum a lot, which caused me to worry that I might not have enough cum for tomorrow but what could I do now. The next day when I woke up, I made sure I tried to take a shit and clean myself up before I left. I went up to the game room around noon and was nervous about what was going to happen, but all I could think about was that car. I hoped I would not see him but as I moved around the game room, there he was; he cornered me and casually said, “Are you ready?” what was I going to do, I wanted that car, so I simple nodded my head and replied, “Yes.” He then questioningly asked, “Are you sure, and pausing, I again nodded my head. John grinned and said, “Ok, let’s go.” I felt everyone was watching us leave, even though we had left together so many times before; I was nervous as we got in his car and headed off to his place.. I was not sure exactly where we were going; were we going to a hotel or to his apartment, I was not sure. Nevertheless, wherever we were going, I had a good idea of what I would have to do once we got there, which made me apprehensive. I was having second thoughts about going through with it, and John must have realized I was nervous. To break the tension, he asked if I was hunger and if wanted to get something to eat first. I simply replied, “No,” and he told me not to worry as we continued on our way. Soon we pulled into an apartment complex not far from the school and parked out front of an apartment. As we got out of the car, I looked around nervously to see if anyone was watching as we went inside. I now felt trapped as he closed and locked the door behind us. John quietly walked over to the window and closed the blinds in the front room, which put me at ease so no one could look in on us. I looked around the front room and noticed his apartment was small but clean and modestly furnished. Immediately John moved toward and down the hallway telling me, “Come on,” wanting me to follow him. The hallway was short and led toward the back bedroom. As we walked down the hallway, I noticed a small bathroom in the hall and across from that; there was another room with the door partially closed. John entered the back bedroom first and as I followed him in, John immediately walked over to the bedroom windows and quickly closed the blinds. The room did darkened a little, but being it was still light out, I could still see very clearly It was a quite large bedroom with what looked like a bathroom toward the back and a king sized bed situated in the middle of the long wall. John now sat on the edge of the bed and motioned for me to sit next to him by patting the bed. I gradually moved over to where he was sitting and sat on the bed too. John put his hand on my thigh and rubbing it, told me to relax and that everything would be all right. I simply nodded and as he stood up, and told me to go ahead and take off my clothes. John then told me he would be right back as he walked toward the bathroom. I watched as he closed the door to the bathroom, where I presumed he was going to take off his clothes and I sat there quietly for a second looking around the room I thought that I had better get started undressing before he returns. I quickly took off my shoes, socks, and my shirt and pants, piling them at the end of the bed. I did not take off my underwear for some reason, maybe as in an effort to keep some sense of pride though this whole thing or as long as possible. I only sat there for only a few seconds when I heard the door to the bathroom open. In looking back, I saw him coming out with what appeared to be only a long sleeved, button down shirt on. He turned off the bathroom light and as he started toward the bed, I looked to see if he was naked under the shirt, but I could not tell. As he got closer, I looked away and he sat next to me. He noticed that I had not taken off my underwear and asked, “What’s wrong?” I hesitantly said, “What?” He quickly dismissed it, rubbing my thigh said never mind. John then said, “Just relax, everything will be ok.” I nodded my head in approval and he told me to lie down on the bed. I laid on my back in the middle of the bed, not know what he wanted. John then motioned for me to move over to the edge of the bed, on my side so I was facing the wall with the window. He came around the bed and knelt on the floor in front of me. He started to rub my legs, my stomach, and then spreading my legs, he rubbing my cock through my underwear. I closed my eyes and tried to distance my thoughts from what was going on. He now wanted my underwear off and tried gently taking them off. He struggled and asked me to help him get them all the way off. I quickly sat up and pulled them off and John cast them off the end of the bed as I lay down again. He repositioned me closer to the edge and returned to fondling my cock and ball. He wanted me hard and it did feel good as he rubbed my limp cock, trying to stroke it, but I was distancing my thoughts now and thus I was not getting hard. He now tried sucking my limp dick in an effort to get me hard, but still it was no use; I was not getting hard. He became frustrated and stopped sucking, but as he continued to fondle my cock, he asked me if it felt ok. I mumbled nodded my head, mumbling a yes, but he must have known that I had distancing myself, so he asked me to try. John was not going to stop until my dick was hard and I had cum, so I nodded my head, as he again started to suck my cock. I knew I had to cum so I thought about my cock in his mouth, thinking about how good it felt; wanting to cum in his mouth. I thought that if I could cum that maybe we would not do anything else, and then I would get the car just that easily. I wanted to cum in his mouth and it did feel good as he sucked and stroked my cock. Occasionally he would fondle my balls and suck them too; he even fingered my ass once, which was getting harder and harder. It was my first blowjob and it felt good, and I could feel myself about to cum in his mouth, but I was not fully hard yet. I wanted to be hard before I came, so I tried to hold back, but when I did this, I started to go limp again, and John felt it too. I had to make a decision; I had to do it now, hard or not, I needed to cum. Soon I was close again. I held back somewhat letting it build and then I let it go, cumming in his mouth prematurely, which I think surprised John as my cock jerked a few times in his mouth, causing him to stop sucking and just pull on my cock as cum shot in his mouth. It was the first time anyone had sucked my cock and it felt good as he continued to try to suck me dry. However, almost immediately my cock went limp in his mouth. He tried to keep stroking my cock but soon disappointedly said,” Is that it?” I paused and said, “What?” but he quickly said, “It’s alright,” and asked if it felt good and I replied with a simple, “Yes.” John now got up off the floor, and directed me to move over into the middle of the bed. I scooted over and laid there on my stomach not knowing what he really wanted me to do but as he walked to the end of the bed behind me, he told me to get on all fours, like a dog. As I did, I could feel him climbing on the bed behind me now, telling me to move up toward the head of the bed a little. He gently rubbed on my ass as he inched closer, spreading my legs apart with his legs. John now had me pull a pillow out from under the covers so I could put my head down on it. He inched a little closer, spreading my legs a little more and spreading my ass cheeks and rubbing my ass. I could hear him opening something and then I could hear that he must be rubbing lubricant on his cock, but then John told me that I should really try to relax. I said ok, I could feel John smearing my hole with lube and slipping a finger in my ass, fingering my butt. It felt good as he gently fingered my ass with lube. ”Oh, yea,” John said, “you’re so nice,” and asked if I was ok. I nodded my head replying, “Yes.” He again told me to relax and mentioned to me that it might hurt a little at first, but tried to reassure me that it would stop as long as I relax. I said ok and soon I could feel his hard cock against my butt hole as he tried to push it in me. It was ok at first, but then it really started to hurt as he tried to push his cock in me. I pulled away slightly and when I did, John asked me if I was doing ok, and before he could stop me, I quickly pulled away, causing him to pull out. He asked. “What’s wrong?” and I immediately told him it was hurting and as I tried to rise up on all fours, he told me to keep my head down. He was obviously annoyed and said, “Ok, well you need try to relax more and that the hurting would eventually stop, but that I needed to relax.” Frustrated he told me to tell him when the hurting had stopped. He of course wanted to try again and it did hurt for a little while, but I was not going to tell him, I did not want him to put his cock in me again so I put it off as long as possible in hopes of not doing it anymore. He asked a couple times if I was ready to try again and finally he decided that he had waited long enough. He said, “Ok, let’s try again, but this time I really need you to try to relax this time when I am in you.” I agreed and he put more lubricate on my ass and proceeded to push his hard cock in my as again. Again, it hurt and I tried to have him take it out, but he refused and held on to my hips, keeping his cock in me. He then asked how I was doing and if I was doing ok. It did hurt a little but was subsiding so I replied that I was ok. John slowly pushed his cock further and further in my ass, which hurt and I tried again to pull away but he held me tight. It was a dull aching and I tried to relax as much as I could as he started moving his hard cock in and out of my tight hole. It started to hurt more and when I told him it was hurting again, he stopped and simply told me to relax. I rose up and tried to wiggle free but he held me firmly and kept trying to moving his cock in and out of me. After a short time, he again asked if I was ok. He was not going to stop until he had cum so I tried to relax as he really tried to move his cock in and out fast and fast. My cock was getting hard as he moved in and out of me and it was kind of starting to feel good having is cock going in and out of me, but suddenly I could tell he was annoyed about something and he stopped. He explained that I need to help too and that I needed to move back and forth with him. He explained that I should try to push back and forward with him. We tried again and he said, “That’s it, keep going.” I did and it felt good this time and I was really trying to get into it, but unexpectedly his cock slip out. He quickly put it back in me and as he continued, he explained not to go so fast. As we started up again, John reached around me this time playing with my now hard cock and remarked, “Where was this earlier?” Soon he stopped and seemed to concentrate his thrusts with short quick strokes as he continued to fuck me. It was hard to keep the same action going, but then all of a sudden, he pulled me close, and forced his cock deep in me, which hurt. I tried to pull away but he held me close and out of breath said, “No, don’t move!” I now knew he must be cumming in me and could feel his cock jerking inside me. Out of breath and thoroughly spent now, John hunched over me, which forced me to lay flat. He kissed me on the back and slowly moving his cock in and out of me, saying how good it felt and asked me if I was ok. When I did not say anything, he gradually pulled his cock out of me and as he rolled of the bed told me that I had better go into the bathroom and clean myself out. John walked toward the back bathroom and told me to use the hall bathroom and that I should come back to the bedroom when I was finished. I got off the bed and hurried into the bathroom. I was not sure what he meant by cleaning myself out, but I sat on the toilet and wiped my butt and tried to push out whatever was inside. I managed to push out some KY jelly and what looked to be cum, but I was not sure. After a few minutes, I returned to the bedroom where he was waiting for me on the bed. He told me that he really liked making love to me and that he wanted to do it again. I told me again to get on all fours with my head down and he again got on the bed behind me. It put some more KY around my butthole and in my ass too, and told me to relax again. I wondered how he could be able to do it again after cumming just a few minutes ago. I tried not to let him put his cock in my ass again, but as hard as I tried not to let him put his cock in me, it seemed that he was able to push his cock in my ass more easily than before. I did not want to do it anymore and I decided that this time I would not move back and forth, as he fucked me. He noticed almost right away and asked what was wrong? I told him that I did not want to do it anymore. He reached around taking my hard cock in his hand and said, “Come on, I thought you liked it.” “Let’s do it one more time.” It did feel good this time, but he had told me we would only do it once. He now tried forcibly moving me back and forth, fucking me, but it was not work. Frustrated, he stopped, pulled his cock out, and rolled off the bed. He walked toward the bathroom and told me to go ahead and get dressed. As he closed the door to the bathroom, I quickly got dressed and sat on the bed waiting. When he came out, he sat by me again and told me, how nice and rubbing my thigh asked if I would like to try it again sometime. I again felt trapped; he was my ride back to the game room and I did not know what to say, and when I did not reply, he said, “Ok, let’s go.” We left the apartment and headed back to the game room John asked if I wanted him to drive me home, which I eagerly replied, “Yes.” As we drove, I could feel his cum and KY oozing out of me and as soon as he dropped me off, I went into the shower and tried again to push his cum out of me. I was scared about what I had done and wanted to distance myself from John. However, a few days later, I returned to the game room to ask about the car that he had promised me. When I found him, he was friendly and asked how everything was going. I said everything is good, but what about the car. John was taken aback and he quickly suggested that we go for a ride. I said ok and we got in his car. As we drove around, he explained that our deal was that I would sleep with him, and because I did not do my part, he felt the deal was off. I was in shock; I was under the impression that I only had to do it once, but he continued by saying, “Well if you want to try it again, we could consider the deal back on, but only if we were to do it again.” I did not know what to say. I wanted the car, but did not feel I had to do it with him again; we did it once; that was the deal, I thought. I was upset and felt used. We went back to the game room and before getting out of the car, he told me that he still had the car and if I was still interested in doing it again that he would give me the car.” I was irritated as I walked away and ended up staying away from the game room for a long time, but when I did go back, John carried himself confidently and brazenly acted as if nothing was wrong. We continued to be friendly to one another, because he knew I was probably distressed about the car and that there was a possibility that I would be willing to do it again to get the car. His new brash attitude made it hard to approach him to say I was willing to do it again and with his attitude, it had become obvious that John wanted me to be the one to initiate the need to continue the relationship, but how was I going to do it? I now felt unwanted and tried to forget about having the car, but in the back of my mind, I did want to continue our sexual relationship.
It was now getting toward the end of the school year and one day when I happened to be up at the game room, John went out of his way to mention that he had recently moved closer to where I lived and that I should come over some time to visit.
The apartment complex he had moved into was on the other side of the neighborhood, in a nice area. I was glad he told me and interested in visiting, but I was quite sure he did this in hopes of rekindling the situation over the summer by making it that much easier for me to come by his new place anytime I wanted. He then continued by asking me if I wanted to go see it. I was immediately suspicion, but it was the opening I was hoping for, so I nodded my head yes. We quickly got in the car and headed off. We did not talk a lot on our way, and to break the tension, he mentioned that I should try to come by sometime. I simply said, “UHHA,” but I was definitely interested. As we pulled in to the complex, John said, “Well here we are.” These were high-class apartments and as we parked, he said, “Come on,” and we went in. I was nervous as he closed the door and said, “Come on in.” When we walked inside it was dimly light with all the curtains closed. It has been hard to remember this apartment but I do remember that it was quite spacious, with a large sections couch in the living room. I casually walked into the living room and as he closed the door behind us, a feeling of uneasiness came over me. As I moved further into the main room and I become nervous remembering what had happened before when we were alone, but then again why was I there? For some reason I was attracted to this kind of relationship. It was the first time I had had sex and I must have wanted to continue the relationship in hopes of making love with him again. As we moved around the front room, John asked if I wanted a tour as he moved toward the back of the apartment. He wanted to show me the bedroom and when I realized that was where we were headed, I fell back and John asked, “What’s wrong?” I turned away, wanting to stay in the front room. John came back to where I was saying, “It’s ok, why don’t we sit down,” as we both moved over to the sofa, I chose a spot of the couch near one end and John tried to sit next to me. I felt uncomfortable; but I knew I could easily leave and walk home at anytime. We did not say anything for a while and as I looked around, he tried to break the tension first telling me how glad he was that we were still friends, and said that he was glad I wanted to come see his new apartment. I did not say anything, so he continued by saying that I could come by anytime. I was flattered by the attention and in the back of my mind, I wanted to do it with him again, but on the same note, I was hesitant. Our conversation paused again, and I remembered what had happened before and as thoughts of that day went through my mind, I had conflicting thoughts. What should I do? John now reached over and started to rub my thigh just as he did the last time, and he asked if I would like to see the rest of the apartment now. I did not know what to do. In a way, I wanted to stay but I was confused. John then stood up and casually started toward the back of the apartment where the bedroom was expecting me to follow him. I quickly stood up too, but instead of following, I said that I had to leave and started toward the door. John stopped and quickly came back to the front room, trying to persuade me to stay. I continued to make my way to the front door to leave, and just as I was about to go, John said, “Well, maybe you can come by another time.” In a way, I want to stay, knowing he wanted to get me in bed again, but I could not do it. As I left and walked home, I wondered if I would ever see him again, and if the car would ever materialize. I wanted the car, but how could I make it happen. I did venture over to John’s apartment several times that summer, gradually became more and more comfortable when I visited, but it was never for very long and we never did it. I think he must have been waiting for me to let him know that I was ready, and at the same time, I needed him to make the first move again, but no matter what, the right situation was never there, or we both took a wait and see attitude.
Summer was almost over and whenever I visited the game room with friends, John acted as if nothing ever happened, and I had a feeling that John had in someway moved on because as I looked on, he was leaving with other boys. I was somewhat jealous, because I knew what those boys were going to experience, but I was relieved in a way too. As I watched things unfold, I thought to myself that if he had moved on, then I should probably too. I had now became desperate in a way to make a conscious effort before it was to late, to try to tell John that I was ready to do it again, but as I prepared to return to school, I heard that the game room by the high school closed down right at the of summer. I could not believe it, how was I going to approach John now to tell him I wanted to do it. I went up to the strip mall where the game room was and it was gone, my plans were dashed to tell him how I felt. I knew where he lived, but then I remember that John owned another record store downtown. I talked a friend into going with me to see if we could find the record store, but really, I wanted to see if he was there and as soon as we walked in the door, I saw him behind the counter. At first, he did not see me and I hurriedly walked with my friend toward the back before John had the opportunity to see me. I kept looking over to where John was as we casually looked around, being it was the first time we had ever been in this shop, but then John noticed us, and as I looked around, our eyes met. John nonchalantly walked toward us and confronted us asking if he could help us with anything, and saying, “Hey you guys used to come by the game room.” We both said, “Yea.” John looked at me, I wanted to tell him the truth but in front of my friend, I simply said we just wanted to stop in to check it out since the game room by the school had closed. John looked doubtful, but said, “If you need anything, let me know.” John smiled at me suspiciously, as our eyes met briefly and with that, I knew he knew why I was there. I became restless and suggested that we should probably go, but as we headed for the door to leave, John called to me to wait. My friend continued outside as he approached and told me that I should come by more often. I nodded my head, and he continued by telling me that he was still living in the same apartment, and that I should stop by sometime. I cautiously grinned and again nodded my head as I left.
The car never materialized and I never again would have sex with him, but for a long time now, I have try to find someone, the right someone to share this experience of anal sex again and to explore my true feeling, but these days, casual sex could have deadly consequences. I have tried to meet other men and even transsexuals in hopes of hooking up to experience what it is like again having someone inside me and maybe even feel myself inside too, but when I start to consider what might happen and what could happen, I end up not follow through. I have continued to fantasize about my experience with John and about being with other men, thinking about John sucked my cock, and how it might feel to suck someone else’s cock, and how good it felt when John’s cock was in me and when I knew he had cum in me. I continue to fantasize about being with other men and transsexuals, however the feeling of a dildo in my ass, while masturbating gets old quick and I do so want to feel the real thing again.
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