Where it happened: the movie theater after a suicide attempt
Langauge: english
Sex: Female
Rating: 4
Category: Straight
It was the worst experience of my life.
First off, 10 days earlier…
On february 4th, my boyfriend bryan of over a year told me he wanted to “take a break after valentines day.” we had been fighting too much about everything. i was crushed. imagine knowing the boy you loved was going to break up with you in 10 days and there was nothing you could do about it. the scrapbook i made him of all the pictures i had of us together was so painful to finish. And i cried as i stuck “i love you” stickers on it.
That night… he was at a rehearsal for our school play. Our mutual “friend” texted me saying “bryan has a girlfriend.” i was so confused. i begged the friend to tell me more, but he wouldn’t. i called bryan, desperate for an explanation. he didn’t pick up. i ran into my bathroom crying, unable to take it. he wanted to cheat on me until valentines day, when he would break my heart?… this was NOT the bryan i fell in love with in jr. high. i had no where to turn: abusive mother, no friends left because i spent all my time with bryan, no hope. i took out a bottle of medicine and overdosed. i didn’t want to live anymore. bryan texted me, asking what was wrong. i told him what our friend had said. he replied: “no kat, i would never cheat on you. in the scene we’re doing my character has a girlfriend. its not for real, its only in the play.” i started freaking out, and i told him “its too late anyways. i already overdosed. goodbye.” about three minutes later, i heard sirens. they took me to the hospital. they made me better. and they gave me pills to stop me from being depressed. bryan promised he would never hurt me like that again and that he realized how much he would miss me if i was gone. he said he loved me, and didn’t want to “take a break” anymore.
10 days later…
Valentines day. that morning, i took a long bubble bath to prepare my body. i wanted bryan, and would do anything to keep him from leaving. even if i was uncomfortable showing him my body; even if i felt guilty; even if i knew i wasn’t ready… i decided i would sleep with him. bryan took me to a nice dinner and a movie. i wore a sexy thong i shamefully bought at Victoria’s Secret under my dress, and lead him to the back row of the movie theater. there were lots of other people there, but i didn’t care. we were heavily making out, and I told him i loved him, i wanted him, i was ready. i laid my sweater down on the floor of the theater and pulled up my dress, revealing my thong. i slowly slid it off, and began to unbutton his jeans. he kept them on, but pulled his dick through the hole of his boxers… it was big, at least six inches. i had no idea how it would fit. i gave him one of the three condoms i had brought, and he put it on. he asked if i was sure i wanted to do this, if i was sure i was ready. i told him i was, and he awkwardly laid on top of me. he didn’t exactly know what to do because, at age 15, it was his first time too, so he stumbled to figure out where to put it. he found it, and pushed in hard. it hurt so badly, i bit my lip and whimpered. “are you okay baby? i’ll stop if you want me to…” he asked, concerned. i told him to just keep going really slow. it hurt like no pain i had ever experienced. (i found out later it was because i was clinching my muscles because i was so scared, instead of relaxing and allowing him to enter). i was trying not to cry or scream in pain, and he thought the faces i was making was because i was orgasming or something. he came pretty quickly. i doubt he lasted over three minutes. he took off the condom and threw it in our almost-empty popcorn bucket. i told him i would give him a blow job if he wanted, and he said he did. so i got onto my knees and sucked his dick for a few minutes. then i told him i had two more condoms. i thought it might feel better now, since he had already broken me open. i was wrong. it started to not hurt as badly by the end, when he was cumming for the second time. i went home, shaking in pain and regret.
Apparently, my plan worked, because bryan is still with me today. But i regret that night more than i regret anything else in my entire life. To be honest, our sex life still isn’t that great. He’s never made me orgasm, and i feel used ever time. but at least i’m still with him. but i still wish i could re-do my freshman year.
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