So it happened last night. Im gonna try to tell this as short as possible. In christmas I came to visit my mom in this skiing resort in Switzerland, where she lives. As I had lived there before too, I went out with my friends a lot during these holidays, and one night I met this amazing guy. Omg, I fell in love immidiately. He told me the most beautiful words, and sent the cutest texts. And bassicaly these where the most romantic and happiest 2 weeks in my life. I was kinda heart broken when I had to go home. Then for 2 months we didnt talk. I tried to contact him through facebook, but he never replied my message. Then this week I came to this skiing resort again. I was all excited. Thought about how I would meet him, and id be happy again. But then I talked to a friend and she said that he had hit on my other friend and also he never replied my text which i sent him at the beggining of the week. And apparently he had left to some other village. Ok I made my peace with it. Couldnt do anything about it anyways. But then came the night when I was out with the two friends [one of them who hed hit on] and there he was standing outside. he came in and went straight to my friend. He didnt even say “hi”, he didnt even look at me.. and when I saw him my legs were shaking so bad. And the ignoring part carried on the whole night. And he followed my friend the whole night too.. Other guys hit on me, but I was heartbroken. I dunno why this always happens to me. Almost always the same. They like me, they make me feel special, they ignore me.. So yh next days I was kinda sad, to say the least.. (I know it was just 2 weeks with him, but i had never felt that way before). I got drunk during the day and smoked again.. After two nights, yesterday, i really needed to get my mind off of things. So I went out.. alone, cause nobody could come with me. I thought Ill just get drunk and meet someone. I needed something meaningless. So I got really drunk.. alone.. went dancing, and met this guy who had hit on me some nights ago. Didnt really like his looks or personality, but I just needed something meaningless.. and I was completely drunk. So we started making out. We went to his place. Went to some dirty room, which probably was the sex room ;D and it happened. I dunno, maybe I shouldve stopped it.. but i really didnt care. You know how they say the first time is special, youll regret if its not with the right person.. but I didnt feel anything, I just hurt alot, and maybe its good that if i ever do it with someone I care about its not gonna be that bad. Cause my first time was awful, he kept falling out, and I was hurting sooooo much.. I just felt kinda numb after that. but that doesnt make me hate sex.. its ok. now at least i dont have to think about it anymore.. Im ok with it. just needed to share, that not always it has to be perfect….
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Sara
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