Langauge: English
Sex: FEMALE
Rating: 10
Category: Straight
One Saturday, my boyfriend Mark and I had plans to go to the beach. He picked me up at my house at around 11:00, and we went on our way. I love going to the beach with him, it’s one of my favorite places to be; when you are with your favorite person doing one of your favorite things to do, it is certainly a great feeling. We drove over there, feeling good, listening to music, enjoying the long drive. Mark drove 100 mph in his car for the first time, it was quite exhilarating, and was a milestone for him. It is safe to say that that was not the only milestone we shared that day.
We spent the afternoon relaxing and hanging out at the beach. We started at the southern end of New Smyrna, then proceeded to the inlet. It was lots of fun. The water was really smooth, and we just sort of swam and sat in the sun, soaking it up and enjoying it.
We headed home from the beach, and he came into my house where I thought that he would be dropping me off so that I could baby-sit my sister while my mom went on a date with her sort-of-boyfriend. We were just hanging out(making out), and he talked to his friend, whose parents were out of town for the weekend. My mom then informed me that my sister would be spending the night at her friend’s house, so my services were no longer required. Hearing this, Mark invited me to go with him to his friend’s house. I agreed, and we were on our way.
On the way to his house, we stopped at McDonalds. We got dinner, and then proceeded to our original destination. Once we arrived, we rang the doorbell and knocked on the door, but no one answered. The door was open, so we just came in and greeted his friend. After very little small talk,his friend invited us to the… uh… liquor that he had acquired. Mark and I accepted, and decided soon after to call our parents, basically lie, and stay there for the night. I decided to not call my mother, since she was on a date, and I wanted to wait before I pissed her off as long as possible.
I suppose that we can all guess what happened next. It was our first time becoming inebriated together, how romantic. He had about 6 beers, and I had some vodka mixed with various substances, such as lemonade from McDonalds and Sunny Delight. Mark and his friend started playing guitar, and we were all listening to music, watching TV, and having a good time breaking the law and being stupid. We all decided to go to a house in Dominic’s neighborhood that was being built and TP the place. After that, we ran back to his house, and were feeling pretty tired. Mark and I retired to his friend’s parents’ bedroom, where we found ourselves in a situation where we had to make a decision, one that would change our relationship, and one that would bring us even closer together.
That night was the night in which I lost my virginity to the person I love more than any other human, the person I would give my life to. Although circumstances were certainly not the most admirable, and it happened during a stereotypical situation that is looked down upon by many intelligent people(including previously, myself); I have, beyond a shadow of a doubt, no remorse. I am only proud to say that I was able to give something that I regarded as being so special to someone who I would still lose it for again and again only to prove how much I care for him.
I repent for my sins; ask repentance from God for that night; and hope, with help from those I love, to better myself as a person and become closer to God so the many questions I have about all of this can be helped. I am so thankful for God’s grace and forgiveness, because it feels as though this sin was inevitable. Though I am sorry for my sin, I do not regret it as it was a very special thing.
We used protection(a condom, if the details must be known), and were actually quite safe about the endeavor. It was a little painful at first, and(I’m not sure I should be saying this), did not last long enough to really know what it was like(about 5 s, geez!), it was very promising and very special because it was with Mark. After it was over(over as far as the condom was concerned), we decided that we wanted to do it again. Dominic went to the store, and got us more provisions, and we tried again. This time, the condoms weren’t lubricated. It didn’t work as well, actually, it didn’t work at all. We gave up, and since it was quite late in the evening/morning, just stayed up for the rest of the night until he took me home in the early morning.
We talked in the car on the way home, and I started to feel bad about the whole thing. All of these thoughts kept running through my head, how I had wanted to wait until marriage before I met him, how we were both drunk, how we were in his friend’s parents’ bed, how I felt like I was betraying my mother and God and being a bad role model towards my sister, but how it was something that was special that Mark shared with me, and I with him, and how I loved him. I kept all of this to myself, whereas Mark kept on talking about it, and basically told me that he was feeling all of these feelings that I happened to be feeling also. That fact made me feel a whole lot better about everything.
Needless to say, when I got home, my mom was very upset. She grounded me for the next 12 days. My mother is my best friend, and helps me with so much. Although she was disappointed with me for being out for all hours of the evening and not even calling her, she was still very kind and still made me feel loved. I came clean with her, and feel like she respects me even more now.
The moment I finished talking to my mom, I called Mark on his cell phone. He was still driving back to Dominic’s house, and once I finished talking to him, I went to sleep for a couple of hours. My mom woke me up a couple of hours later to tell me to get ready to go to church. I went, and we ate lunch afterwards. I was still feeling bad about everything, and I went home and slept throughout the day in the form of little naps.
Mark called me, and we had one of the best conversations that we have had in a long time. I feel like we have an even deeper level of respect for each other now, and that we are becoming so close. Talking to him felt like talking to my mom in the sense that we know so much about each other, and it was just so peaceful and relaxing.
Mark is the one person who I see in my future. He has changed me for the better, improved me in ways I never even imagined. He is my best friend, my companion, my lover, and forgive the cliché, my soul-mate. I only hope to spend more and more time by his side, helping him as much as he helps me. I made love with the only person I can see myself ever sharing something as intimate and special as that. The thing that makes me the most happy is that someone as great as him decided to share something that special with me as well. I pray to God for help to be a better person, inside and out.
Throughout the week, we spent the time talking about how we felt about the whole situation. We both regret it, but have no remorse. He went to church 4 times that next week, as well as to Confession. I talked to my Youth Director of my church, as well as to one of my pastors, and they both helped me deal with what I did. I now see that I want to wait until I am married, so that I can have God’s blessing. As odd as it sounds, a drunked get-together helped me find God, and strengthened my relationship with my Savior and my boyfriend. We both agreed to mature, and live our lives together with God’s will. Our relationship is much more platonic, but I know now that if you are truly in love, waiting is never an issue. I only hope that more people can understand this, possibly with learning without sin in the first place.
We are both intelligent people, and made a not-so-intelligent decision. The difference between us and many people is that we actually LEARNED from our mistake, do not blame each other, and are making a concious effort to become better people together. Although it will be difficult, I know that it will be rewarding.
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